Psychology Says: Couples Who Argue Actually Love Each Other More


Every relationship usually starts relatively fine. In the beginning, you do not notice your partner’s flaws or you are willing to compromise. But as time passes, you and your partner start having more and more differences. That is how you know if your personalities are able to move on or your relationship was not meant to be. If you are able to communicate with understanding the other’s points of view, your relationship will be ok.

When you argue, you actually show your personality, your perspective and the ability to have or not, a healthy discussion with your partner. If you find yourself having arguments with your partner, it does not have to mean that there is a problem with your relationship.  Arguing actually requires skills like listening, being able to point out if anger is raising, not to have the need to be right all the time, being able to talk about one topic and not jump to unnecessary issues and the ability to maintain calm and not say something that you will later regret.

As I mentioned above, arguing does not mean that the relationship is domed, it only means that both of you are able to say what you feel and think. There is always a healthy way to argue and it can actually be very beneficial to the relationship. You are not afraid that the things you say might offend your partner and with arguing the tension between you two will drop. Not arguing can also mean that you or your partner is not really involved in the relationship. You will have to ask yourself if there is a real commitment, are you free to be yourself, and are you able to express your opinion with your partner.

Dr. Stephanie Sarkis has mentioned that arguing is one of the healthy ingredients of a strong relationship. She also said that she has never come across a healthy couple which has never argued. You can argue without turning it into fighting and you should be able to express your opinions without being afraid of what your partner will think.

After the honeymoon stage of the relationship passes, you or your partner will want to be more expressive about your wishes and passions in life. If you are able to constructively express all your thoughts then it won’t become fighting. A partner who loves you will always be ready to hear you and see what is on your mind. When you love somebody you will learn how to respect their opinions.

Another important thing is that you need to learn what is worth arguing. If something is really not that important then why waste time arguing? This does not mean that you should become submissive, but sometimes it is ok to not say what you mean if it is not that important to you. But, when you do argue, keep in mind that if your relationship is healthy than both of you should be able to express your opinions.

There are those couples who fight for the sake of the make-up sex that comes after. The arguing helps them raise the passion and they know how far to go so that it will never turn into fighting. The healthy couples know how not to overstep some boundaries because their objective is not to hurt their partner.

Healthy relationships have mutual love, respect, compassion, and compromise and there also has to be a moderation in the things you do. The last thing you want to do, if you love your partner, is to disrespect them or hurt them. Being able to make discussions without turning them into a fight, means your relationship is going to be fine.